Bargain Vacationer Gifts

'We don't have the money for everyone to go, and, well, our luggage has never been to the Bahamas before...'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

'He must be going economy!'

Cheapskate Cruises

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

Expensive greeting cards.

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Overdoing it.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Europe on $5000 a day.

Scene on the English coast.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

"Oh, boy. Comfort food."

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."