Bargain Traveler Pillows

"Do you have anywhere hot, cheap and with a lot of cats?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Cheapskate Cruises

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

World's cheapest car

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

Expensive greeting cards.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Airline Mergers.

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess