Bargain Traveler T-Shirts

"Do you have anywhere hot, cheap and with a lot of cats?"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

'He must be going economy!'

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

Cheapskate Cruises

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

World's cheapest car

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

Expensive greeting cards.

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

Airline Mergers.

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Europe on $5000 a day.