Bargain Battle Buff Pillows

Bidder 2 bids £4 - 'Peel bids £5. Take that, Bidder 2.' - 'Bidder 2 bids £6.' - '£8. How you like it now, bitch, eh?!' - 'Bidder 2 bids £9.' - 'Give me the damn 'bread maker'!!!' -

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"You can't plead cute."

"But I use all of them!"

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

Budget cuts were beginning to bite at the local council

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"Lovely weather for it."

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

'... Now this releases me from any liability. And this form ...' 'Fred's legal experiences in civilian life interfered with his work in a war zone.'

Imran Khan

Um, General Hannibal, a word if I may...

"What do you think the delivery time is on a drone pizza?"

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

Cricket.

Sympathy

'I don't have the patience for this problem.'

Fair Trade Coffee. I'll give you this pen for a medium French roast.

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'All fixed Ma'am: You owe me two hay-bales, four sugar cubes and three apples...'

'I'll give you a raise on one condition, Maxwell...you never ask for another one.'

Light Artillery

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.

Friends.

"Can you believe I was denied a 'Concealed Carry' for this?"

Toast baseball.

"He started with the gunslinger opening, but quickly ran into the posse defense."

Two Men In A Tank.

At home with Harry, the Auctioneer: 'Penny for your thoughts.' 'Who'll give me five-do I hear five...?'

Under Attack.

Jack Hobbs

'Five years ago we offered Professor Lang unlimited resources to create the perfect deterrent. Today, I'm happy to say...' 'Uh-Oh!'

The mailing lists you're on says who you are