Barfly Musings Gifts

"My one big fear is that I might get a jury of your peers."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"Catnip for everyone."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'Fried chickens.'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'