Barfly Musings T-Shirts

"My one big fear is that I might get a jury of your peers."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"Catnip for everyone."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'Fried chickens.'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

"What would you like me to play next?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...