Barfly Bon Vivant T-Shirts

"That's cute, but you'll never realize your phone's ringing in here if your ringtone's a belch."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

'Fried chickens.'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"Catnip for everyone."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

Quiz Night...

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"What would you like me to play next?"

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'