Barfly Adventures Gifts

The Adventures of Morton

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Victoria's pre-marriage questionnaire continues...'Can I get input from the guys at the bar on this one?'

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'Fried chickens.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Catnip for everyone."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

"What would you like me to play next?"

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'Fill her up. No ice - it takes up valuable space!'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'