Barfly Legend Gifts

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'Fried chickens.'

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Catnip for everyone."

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"Gimme a lite. Bug Lite."

"What would you like me to play next?"