Barfly Legend Gifts

"I'm enrolled in a total immersion wine class."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"An everything Martini, please."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"I forget to drink."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Fried chickens.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

Cell Bar & Grill. Happy Hour All Day. The new owner is an endorphin.

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

"If it's my pride, I'm not here"

"Catnip for everyone."

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

"You seem dangerous. I like that."

Those Senior Moments: 'Tell me something - do I come here often?'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Quiz Night...

"What would you like me to play next?"

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

"How's the job interviews going?" "Not well. Seems they only want the best and the brightest."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

If bar stools were like playground swings...