Barcode Detective Pillows

"There's traces of zebra in your barcodes."

"Wait a minute, that's my bar code" Product Identity Theft

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Barcode Dreams

Computer Expert

Where was I?

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Terry had a computer bug.

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"Careful! He knows computers."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

Clickbait

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"Prove you're not a human Select the squares with a bike Skip"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

Computer Crimes

Information about information about information about information.