Barbie Gifts

"I left my Barbie at home. She doesn't like kids."

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

Tired Barbie

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

Barbie Oscars

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

Conan the Custodian.

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

Secular Cloisters

"Yeah, well, I'll have you know that Barbie finds my snoring endearing!"

Axes 'R' Us Store

'He just loves the hokey-pokey, doesn't he?'

'Congratulations son, you've been invited to play for the barbarians.'

"I don't have any treats.But how's this for a trick ?"

"The party's byob, but I'm sure there's an extra Barbie here somewhere."

Wonderland. Old King Cole is putting together a new administration. Humpty Dumpty will be Secretary of the Fence. The cow who jumped over the moon will be Secretary of Steak, and the Little Mermaid will be Sturgeon General. Any one of the dwarfs could be Labor Secretary. It's off to work we go .... They're certainly on the short list!

'I'm sorry Mary, you know the rules.'

'Only one minor hitch so far. They claim that they ALSO have something of an over-population problem.'

'Tinkerbell. I'm sorry. It's not you. It's Smee.'

...You frightened her so you eat the curds and whey!

"I'm sorry, but I made a big mistake by running off with you. I'm really in love with the fork."

Man reading 'how to swim' book whilst swimming.

Humpty-Dumpty the ten-part series

"A fork?! And you call yourself a barbarian?!"

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

"You have to accept some people for what they are and avoid them."

"Too barbie?"

"It's Barbara Streisand and I'm listening to her because she's Jewish so she puts me in the mood to practice my Bat Mitzvah Haftorah."

'...You'll be surprised by how un-surprising it can be around here.'

' Forget it lads.I've just checked his notes,and he's not for resuscitation.'

When Barbie divorce me, she took everything.."

Barbie's Affordable House

Barbarians: These retirement parties always get a little awkward towards the end.