Barbie Pillows

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

Tired Barbie

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

Barbie Oscars

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

Conan the Custodian.

Axes 'R' Us Store

"Yeah, well, I'll have you know that Barbie finds my snoring endearing!"

'He just loves the hokey-pokey, doesn't he?'

Secular Cloisters

'Congratulations son, you've been invited to play for the barbarians.'

"The party's byob, but I'm sure there's an extra Barbie here somewhere."

"I don't have any treats.But how's this for a trick ?"

'I'm sorry Mary, you know the rules.'

"I'm sorry, but I made a big mistake by running off with you. I'm really in love with the fork."

Humpty-Dumpty the ten-part series

Man reading 'how to swim' book whilst swimming.

'Only one minor hitch so far. They claim that they ALSO have something of an over-population problem.'

...You frightened her so you eat the curds and whey!

"You have to accept some people for what they are and avoid them."

"A fork?! And you call yourself a barbarian?!"

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

"Too barbie?"

"It's Barbara Streisand and I'm listening to her because she's Jewish so she puts me in the mood to practice my Bat Mitzvah Haftorah."

' Forget it lads.I've just checked his notes,and he's not for resuscitation.'

"What do you expect, he's literally a barbarian."

Barbarians: These retirement parties always get a little awkward towards the end.