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"Say, where's the hogwash?"

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Beer Stall

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Just the one...

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Watching the football.

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

His & hers towels.

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'