Bar Sport Enthusiast Pillows

Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool? That's one of those things you always see an alpha male do: Stand around a pool hall polishing his stick and racking up the balls … sizing up his shot, like he's secretly a geometric wizard who's about to make the whole world line up the way he wants it to with just one whack. Or maybe I should take up darts, where I myself become an extension of the missile I'm launching. Any sport in the bar family works.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'I know it's gassy...'

City Boy.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

Men's fragrances...

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

Professional woman in pub

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

Last Chance For Reality

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Drunken singers in a public house

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'How about a nice saloon?'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

"My wife is trying to stop me doing my flamingo impression." "You must put your foot down! "

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

The Reaper's Arms

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"Your shout!"

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"