Bar Raiser Pillows

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This place has the best happy hour."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Sober Tooth Tiger

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

Next Round Indicator

It's like playing hooky...I let my cell phone batteries die!

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Your shout!"

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

Of all the gin joints in the world, you are here.

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

"Thank you, Sir."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

'Nothing on the sign says I have to have a person with me.'

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

'The wife loves to go dancing Saturday nights.'

"It's been so long—it's like I'm only gay in theory."