Bar Raiser Pillows

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This place has the best happy hour."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Not you. Your hair.

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

Next Round Indicator

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

Sober Tooth Tiger

It's like playing hooky...I let my cell phone batteries die!

"I'm tired of being openly gay.I'm seriously considering going back in to the closet."

Of all the gin joints in the world, you are here.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'Do not stand while the room is in motion.'

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"Your shout!"

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'Nothing on the sign says I have to have a person with me.'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

'SAME SOCKS BAR.'

Father changing nappy, "Heir freshener"

"Thank you, Sir."

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

'The wife loves to go dancing Saturday nights.'