Bar Hopper Pillows

"As your doctor I recommend the Malbec."

"Hey, keep it down, we're trying to have a conversation."

"You reek masculinity."

"Customers without designated drivers must be wearing clean underwear."

'Live Football Here' sign in a Pub is a literal warning.

"This place has the best happy hour."

"It's been so long—it's like I'm only gay in theory."

Enemies of Bill W. Pub

'The wife loves to go dancing Saturday nights.'

It's like playing hooky...I let my cell phone batteries die!

'The usual.'

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

British Drinking Culture.

"It's conceivable that I'd give you my phone number. It's also conceivable that an alien will burst out of my stomach and go on a killing rampage. Spoiler alert: only one of those things is going to happen."

"I attract two types of guys, too forward and too backward"

'I have to go. I promised my liver I wouldn't be late home.'

"Hi. Obviously, I'm betting everything on the watch."

'Nah! He's not my type.'

The landlord's a born again Christian

Socaial Life of the Cable Installer Guy.

People crawling towards pub toilets.

Police Warning - Happy Hour Ahead

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"If I had known I was going to meet somebody like you, I would have lost some weight, gotten some hair plugs, and made more money."

"Finish every drop - the 5 P.M. cocktail is the most important drink of the day."

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

"Are you feeling all right, René? You haven't had an aperçu all night."

The Ol' Martini Hole

"Gin before peanuts is an aperitif. After peanuts it's a digestif."

"Bartender, there's lipstick on this glass."

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"Soda or water?"

"I'm in construction."

"The antlers get their attention but It's the great teeth that clinch the deal."

Answer to the news explosion