Barhopping Pillows

"I thought it might speed up the dating process."

"This place has the best happy hour."

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

5pm Happy Hour. 6pm discussion: what is true happiness?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

Beer Stall

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Dolphin friendly tuna

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

You said you wanted beer with hops !

Just the one...

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"So, Danny Boy, what's up in your world?"

Watching the football.

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

Sober Tooth Tiger

"Of all the wet cement, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks in mine."

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Next Round Indicator

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'