Bar Mitzvah Planning T-Shirts

"My parents want me to have a bar mitzvah in Israel, but I'd rather have it in Yankee Stadium."

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Cocktails on the verandah.

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

Champagne

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

Wedding Day Itinerary.

We'll have Manhattans...

Punt Cake

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Cardiac Recovery.

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I always cry at weddings!'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"How should we divide the teams?"

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'