Bar Joke Admirer Gifts

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

Complementary Beverages

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

'We are now entering sombre hour, happy hour has finished.'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

Virtual Lap Dancing

'Who was that Chad?' 'Ahh, just an old flame of mine.' Two candles at the bar talking about the flame walking out the door

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"If I'm not back at the maze by eight, my wife reels in the damn string."

Drunken hamster at the bar says to the Easter Bunny: 'You got lucky, Bunny. Things could've been so different for the Harvest Festival Hamster.'

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

'Let me guess: you want me to pour you a tall one, right?'

'What is this, some kind of joke?'

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

“Try to ignore it — it’s just the beer talking.”

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

"Leave the toilet."

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...