Bar Fly Aficionado Pillows

"Antarctica is nice, but the only thing I really miss is the herring."

Fly Fishing

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

'Ed missed a nice trout in that hole last week. He takes everything personally.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'George said he was coming here to unwind.'

Emotional Support Pest

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

"Do you take dark money?"

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

It was the bottom of the fifth and the bases were loaded.

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

"Ooops - I'm afraid that was my beer...wait a second whilst I consult my swearword consultant."

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

"That's right, Carl. I'm bitchy. I'm supposed to be bitchy."

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'