Bar Fights Pillows

With the victim of the bar fight badly in need of blood, a quick-thinking doctor ran an IV line from the plasma screen TV.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

Quiz Night...

"And you've had this headache since you left the pub last night?"

"Think I'll be a more effective alpha male if I learn to play pool?"

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'I don't think much of this topless darts bob'

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

'The way I got it doped out, post-modern man is all context and fragment.'

"So,... Can I call you?"

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

'Them's fightin' tweets!'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'I can lick any man in the house!'

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

"Barkeep, gimme a shot of your finest whiskey." "Not so fast there, partner." "Oh, sorry. A... sh... ot... of... yo... ur... fin... est... whis... key...."

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

'I was given a ton of great career advice when I graduated from college. Unfortunately, I can't remember any of it because my entire brain is filled with passwords and PIN numbers.'

'It's okay that you missed the bullseye. What's important is that you always aimed high.'

Cool bulls.

"We met in the Galapagos."