Bar Decor Gifts

I know this bar is known for it's pink squirrels, but ... Is it normal for one to be running up my pant leg?

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'No ice.'

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Pina Coladas

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Beers

Dolphin friendly tuna

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"An everything Martini, please."

"I think we may be related!"

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

'I'm not drinking with you anymore after what you did to me this morning. . .'