Banking Banter Buff Prints

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

'I get a kick out of saying 'no'.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"I don't like the look of this."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

Offshore tax havens.

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

'Sheesh... I wish the government would handle the finance reform a bit more discreetly...'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

Bank. Moving Co. Joe got an apartment above the bank. He moved his things in today. Now he can say his "assets are over ten million dollars"!

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

Freddie Mac and Fannie May takeover

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

loan

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'