Bank Humor Buff Prints

Position closed Out of Service

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Have Your Cards Read Here

PANIC!

"Hands up!"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'What's your not-quite-so prime rate?'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Well £60 million is LESS than I'm used to...but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the Bank have?'

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'

I'm thinking of taking the next step and becoming a snail...what mortgages have you got to offer?

'Got any advice?' - 'Yes, stand up straight, you're slouching.'