Bandage Collector Pillows

Shopping for bandages...

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

You shouldn't be embarrassed

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

"I got a bad papercut from my health magazine!"

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Sounds like cracked ribs. Try loosening your belt."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

'She's one of our nurses hiding from the patient load.'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

Utility Chic.

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

Medical Supplies

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'

"If you need anything just wink."

Beer Sergeant.

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

'Any reason why I can't keep him in that cast?'