Ballpark Yogi Gifts

"The seventh-inning triangle pose..."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

Currently Boston

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

"It is my place!"

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

"I've had a lot of free time this year."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'

'Thanks to your Yoga classes, my usual state of catatonic stupor is easily mistaken for deep deliberation.'

"Thank you."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

Baseball Angels

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'

Downward Dog

"Remember, ladies, if you're doing this right, you shouldn't be able to do it."

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

Pot Needles