Ballpark Legend Gifts

Born to play ball.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

Currently Boston

'Son, I want you to get out there and play like I've never played before.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'I told you that rock wall climbing would be useful. I'll get our ball back with no trouble at all.'

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

"Can we fast forward through the 7th inning stretch?"

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'I've been transferred again.'

'Yes, Haffner appears to be tiring...'

"Did you really just tell me to keep my eye on the ball?"

Baseball Angels

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"I play 'backside'. My 'backside' is always sitting on the bench."

"This new NFL video is great! It factors in the strength of each team's offense, defense, special teams and legal teams."

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"Well, once again I find myself all pumped up with no place to go."

Long jumper in mid air realizing there is a kid burying his dad in the sand like at the beach,

'We'll take three of the big bags... oh boy! This stuff always tastes better at the ballpark!'

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

"Tyler lost interest in baseball once he tried old-time boxing."

'Wow...I've got to admit, Stanley...when you said you always got the best seats I thought you were just blowing smoke.'

'Next time up, I'm calling my shot: I'm pointing to the catcher's mitt.'

'Yo, Bob! I think a heckler just nailed me with something. What's on my back?'