Balding Beauty Enthusiast Pillows

Balding man at the hairdresser's

Bad hair day!

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

Dating is so expensive...

Pampered and poodled.

"I don't like your application."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

What price beauty?

'I'm not begging, I've just painted my claws.'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"I'm not trying to be beautiful, I'm only trying to look better than everyone else there."

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

New Twenty Blades

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"We're having a make up test at school. Can I borrow your mascara?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'Botox...'

"I look kind of nice today. . . How long have I been this ugly?"

"More concealer?"

'Well you tried, but be sure to keep Proof of Purchase.'

"That conditioner you recommended didn't do a damn bit of good."

Mirror mirror...

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'This is a very powerful perfume -- there's a ten-day waiting period.'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

A cow with a Brazilian.

'Here you are Dear, here's a fiver. Go in there and have them make you look like a million dollars.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

"I don't care what you think: it's cool, it's sexy, and I feel totally empowered."

'And you thought that you had all the talent.'

If you've got it flaunt it!