Bald Spot Detective Pillows

'You're right, I do have a bald spot.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

"You're sure it was a Northern Bobwhite?"

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Medusa enjoys a rare night out, incognito.

''Just face it - you're going bald.'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

Twig! Please come into my bathroom! Have you been using my makeup? You're paranoid! Everything is in its place. Why would you accuse me? Just a hunch.

"Oh, great, the warranty is up."

'He says the scent killer isn't working. He can still smell us.'

Monk growing flowers which look like his tonsure.

"As an attorney half my time is spent in court. The rest is evenly split between sitting at my computer and looking for parking."

'The body? In the mystery section, of course.'

In Agatha Christie's bathroom.

"I'm sorry Professor, but you know too much!"

"Uh-oh!. . . Look out! Where did he come from? Something spooky is going on in this picture...Can you spot it?"

"Grandma specifically said not to dig in the rhubarb patch."

A man is tied to a chair and forced to watch TV news.

"Now, that's more LIKE it!"

'With all I've learned about psychology recently, establishing who's naughty and who's nice is not as simple as it used to be.'

'You are loyal, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient and cheerful...'

"You're not getting anything out of me unless you pinch really hard with your thumb and forefinger, then pull."

'Well, somebody's got to fluff my wig.'

Don't Forget to Read the Small Print - Thank you that will be £20

'Vote for me, or I'll sue for discrimination against bald guys.'

"I'm a lapsed good cop."

"Thirty years practicing law and I've never had a 'perry mason moment'."

Leo Messi