Balancer Of Chaos Gifts

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"Ahoy!"

After exhaustive auditions, Rudy Park hires a new writer. You should've seen the brawl that broke out between Rowling, Twain and Watterson. They all really wanted the gig … until they heard what it pays. So who'd we hire? Darrin Bell. The guy who draws us. That clown? Shhh!! What? I'm not afraid of him. To be continued …

Workaholics Anonymous

"As most MPs are lawyers that should give you a clue as to the mess we are in!"

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

Dog carrying a bone on his head.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

Run. Freeze. Run again! Turn around. Run! No, freeze!

"If Carlo can't maintain a better on-line profile, he'll just have to go..."

Daddy cool.

Method/Madness

"What a noise! Sounds like two disco dancing elephants"

'I don't like backseat barkers.'

'I guess it's time to do some filing.'

Music Tightrope

A hermit crab moves home

You are Nowhere.

'I dunno, I've never stayed up long enough to find out.'

'Never mind how did I get up here. Run and get your father.'

"And where's the father of all these children that you don't know what to do with?"

"Oh god. Where did I put my phone?"

'Maybe now we'll find out what's going on around here.'

"My mother gets a note from the teacher every day. I'll be glad when her subscription expires."

Caged Bird Accident

'I am not a pack rat...I am a collector!'