Wizard Of It Chaos Gifts

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

'Careful - that new bed is a little touchy.'

Method/Madness

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

Daddy cool.

"What a noise! Sounds like two disco dancing elephants"

'Gutherie's a genius at clearing the paperwork - I don't know how he does it.'

"What clown has blocked the entrance outside."

'I guess it's time to do some filing.'

'The fans are getting impatient. ... Let's give him another minute. If he doesn't come to by then, we'll the brawl without him.'

'Quick get the teacher! I took an online ad survey and somehow I uploaded our student teacher!'

You are Nowhere.

Lawyer control van.

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

"And where's the father of all these children that you don't know what to do with?"

"My mother gets a note from the teacher every day. I'll be glad when her subscription expires."

"Do you carry any cards for the loss of a beloved loophole?"

Caged Bird Accident

'I am not a pack rat...I am a collector!'