Baking Mishaps Gifts

"What's wrong? I baked it from scratch."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

"Mum, the milk's trying to escape!"

' NO...NO..Mabel...BUNS!...Hot cross BUNS!'

"Oh, very funny. If you don't like my cooking just say so!"

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

'I don't think it's cooked yet, but there's smoke coming out of the oven.'

"Arrrrrrrrr. This be bad."

"I made a nice zucchini bread."

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

'I guess I get a good deal. I give him the milk and he burps it over dad's shoulder.'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Have you guys ever actually read the directions on a box of shake'n'bake?'

Murphy's Slaw.

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'We had to cancel the shish-ka-bob - Our chef isn't allowed to handle sharp objects.'

'His rolls are out of this world.'

'I don't understand it. I boiled the steak for 20 minutes!'

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

"Don't worry about serving chicken to a vegetarian, Carmen. We all make mistakes. I once mistook a mop bucket for a soup pot."

Recipe for Disaster Muffins.

'It says to put the potatoes in a pan of water but it doesn't say whether to use still or sparkling.'

"I made this cake just like you said to: Cake mix, eggs, water, oil, and a ten inch mill file."