Bake Therapy Enthusiast Pillows

"You're the first person I've met who didn't become a pastry chef after suffering a nervous breakdown in a corporate job."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'We have three minutes left.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

Baking

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"It's called geometry, Mum."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

Granny with balanced pie chart

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."