Bag Buster Pillows

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

"Be patient. It's almost dead."

'We're cutting back on our legal expenses and going with the violence instead.'

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

'My firm has scrutinised your budget and determined you could save a fortune by sacking us...that'll be £300,000 please!'

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

Utility Chic.

Oil shock.

Flies up the ante!

"Well, you know what they say —'The water's always bluer on the other side of the trash fence.'"

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

Osborne's Tax Cuts

'Please excuse the mess - we've been busy throwing good money after bad!'

Celebrity endorsements? I thought you said celibate endorsements. No wonder we're coming in under budget.

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"They're spelt differently!"