Badge Meditator Gifts

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

"I decided to get comfortable...we have a lot to talk about."

"You wait nine months for a vaccine then three arrive all at once."

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

"I'm hoping to sell my startup - a chain of fast-food meditation centers - to Google for seven figures."

'So then I thought, what's the idea job for a gentleman with my years of experience, wisdom and a desire to help others.'

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"I'm just checkin' my email, OK! I AM NOT googling it..."

'I hired a decorator.'

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

"My koan is to comprehend the sound of one hand clapping."

"Thirty-seven years up here and my ears STILL pop!"

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- Barack Obama offered me a job writing platitudes!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

WHILE YOU WERE OUT OF BODY...

'The secret to happiness is to stay away from low-lying coastal areas which are most susceptible to storms from global warming.'

'Nice to see you relax and not think about business for a change.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Nothing against you, but I'm thinking about going back for my master's.'

The conscious and unconscious are constantly at war with each other...

I didn't ask you to undress so I could examine you. I asked you to undress because it's essential to the doctor-patient relationship that I be fully clothed and you be sitting there in your underwear."

"Man cave? You think too small."