Backyard Renovation Gifts

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

Ode to a Grill

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Gardening#2

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"I think this is the perfect place to grow a family."

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

Bird Bath.

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

I talked my new client into an eco-landscape. Well done. Walls using local stone. Native trees and plants. Plus

Human males marking territory.

Windchimes

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

Bird family on top of birdhouse surveying back yard: 'This place has all the amenities, including a master bath in the yard by the Zinnias.'

A tree with leaves; a rake standing upright in a pile of leaves.

"I'm paid by the hour. Why do you ask?"

"I wanted something classical, he wanted a vegetable garden, so we compromised..."

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

'Hmm, back to the drawing board.'