Barnyard Renovator Gifts

Paint thinner.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Painting the Ceiling

Farm Humor.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

Cock A Doodle

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"I think this is the perfect place to grow a family."

'And when you're done here honey, I have a nice periwinkle picked out for the foyer!'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"Can we get a bigger pool to accommodate all my floats?"

A Cow Striptease

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

'Dad, this is something I knocked up in the shed.'

'How are you doing on your side?'

'Check out the rack on this hot babe.'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

"It's about time you finished the wall, Herbet...that's your problem, you never finish anything you start!"

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

I talked my new client into an eco-landscape. Well done. Walls using local stone. Native trees and plants. Plus