Backyard Barbecue Champ Gifts

'Every Hallowe'en barbeque he goes way over the top!'

"How can you be out of wings?"

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

'Steak Ted?'

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

His New Grillfriend

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

Ode to a Grill

'Good timing, Pal, good timing.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

"He was sent here from the future to terminate me, but then he really got into grilling."

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

'Do you want us to wait till the meat is completely burned or can we call the pizza service right now?'

Barbecue raises a cloud of smoke; birds and squirrel in tree above wear gas masks.

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"What about the five that fell through?"

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

'I don't have the heart. You tell him the barbeque season is over.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

The First Steak.

'Propane ran out.'