Backhanded Compliment Expert T-Shirts

'Keep an eye on young Yomp, he's excellent at damning others with faint praise.'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Touché"

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"I'll have a man overboard!"

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

'I found it to be the kind of book that once you put it down you never want to pick it up again.'

"You're the 'child psychologist'?"

'That dress certainly matches your eyes.'

'I'm having trouble with drinking. . . I'm getting Arthritis in my elbow.'

Theatre. I told you that play was going to be boring.

"I know this sounds like a line, but nice shooting."

"I was I had a house like yours so I could do something nice with it."

Ping Pong Handshake.

'OK, I'll admit it. You're a genius at parallel parking.'

A nurse Reports A Patient's Condition To The Doctor.

'Do you get your good looks from your mother or your father?'

"Hey, here's someone who looks just like a young you!"

Young Girl: 'Oh YEAH?! Well my Mum's Toy Boy is YOUNGER than YOUR Mum's!'

Bird's flying south.

Complimentary beverages.

"Do you believe fish is brain food?"

'That skirt of yours is so tight I can hardly breath.'

'Play ball!' 'What, no foreplay?'

You're a Hell of a Squirrel but You're Still a Squirrel

"I'm awarding a million bucks for any school, park or high-IQ child named after me."

Lady tipping cab driver

Max supplements his income by working as a shill for a plastic surgeon.

I'd like the double mocha caramel eggnog latte with nutmeg and holiday sprinkles

"I'll take this book. A buddy recommended it to me. . . no idea why. Holy crap! You're one helluva hot chick!!"

"C'mon babe, 'thick' is a compliment!"

'You're the only man I know who brightens a room when he leaves.'

Cafe Chichi. Are you together? I am, but I don't know about him.

'I like it!'

'You have heavenly boobs!'