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"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

'I've turned another corner in my life.' 'One more corner and you'll be back where you started.'

"Oh, I see you're busy, so I'll keep talking."

'This beer is pale and tasteless.' 'Your glass is empty.'

Dadonomics

'Blah, blah, blah....'

'With three teenage daughters the phone never rings twice in this house!'

"And another thing. When they start telling you 'You've still got it,' you don't."

'We need something for his verbal incontinence. He has a blather control problem.'

'Well this shouldn't last long.'

"Why, James. James the Munificent. How good it is to hear from you."

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

"Actually, I'd love to work on Mars, but it's a hell of a commute."

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

Small Talk Outlet

'I booze, I schmooze and then I snooze.'

'I accidentally sent this week's data charts to the 3-D printer.'

'That's what I call a workout! One hour of walking and 2 hours of running our mouths.'

"Can you believe she said that I 'talk too much'? I can go hours without saying anything. You've witnessed it. What about sleeping? I don't talk in my sleep... do I? Oh, well, I just bought a box of vintage oven mitts on eBay last night. I couldn't sleep..."

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

'Every time you get ready to make a call, on your mobile phone, you reach for a comfortable chair. No wonder all that air time translates into large phone bills.'

'I forgot who I'm supposed to talk to and why.'

"I look at a man's hands. If he has long fingers it usually means he has long toes."

'I'm going to Internets Anonymous...we meet in a Yahoo chatroom!'

'He's stuck on 'but I digress'.'

"Good morning 'Best Friends Forever' breakfast club!"

'Please don't interrupt when I'm about to speak Neville!'

"Your ear and mouth are costing me an arm and leg!"