Back-to-school Humor Gifts

"It's his first day of school!"

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

Teacher's pet dog

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"You are here, but you should be in class!"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'If it makes you feel any better, I gave the kid you copied from the same grade.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'How do you like school?'

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student