Bachelor Humor Aficionado Pillows

'Is my job performance review over yet?'

'Hmph. College kids.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'Dang.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'Hey, would you mind stirring your Ovaltine somewhere else?!'

'Tele-barketer.'

Man sees college fraternity houses 'Kappa Phi', 'Aeta Epsalon' and then 'Beta Carotene', says, 'They major in nutrition.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

'Okey-doke,'

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

'Nobody likes a bartender who went to college.'

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

The Pi Advantage

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

"Are you nuts? If we say we've found the sun is a White Hole we'll lose our funding!"

'I think we've found your problem. It's a Yale lock, but you have a Harvard key.'

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'