Baby Shower Planner Pillows

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

What are you getting for the baby shower? She's got an online registry at some giant baby store. Nice! Then you can get exactly what she wants. And at the party .. Everyone knows exactly what I spent! Better add a few onesies to your order.

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

Pregnant Woman - "I think it's coming gift-wrapped."

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

"Your baby should be arriving on this date. I just emailed you the tracking number."

Tartine

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'The child is very illogical'

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"They're so adorable at that age!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

Twenty-first century baby walker

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'