Baby Name Fanatic Gifts

Queen bee reading 'A Million and One Names for Your Babies.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

'I've drawn up a shortlist of baby names.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Intellectual Property

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

Baptism Then and Now

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

Tom Cruise

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Sinead?!"

'Then again, who says we can't call it a mangelwurzel?'

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

'My other baby is Mercedes'

Books: Names That Will Make Your Child Hate You!

1,001 names to Embarrass Your Child for Life.

Let's see what's around the poetry corner. You mean, we should take a turn for the verse.

DisneyworldDisneyland - Continental Divide.

"Actually, the first name was easy. It's her last name we're battling about."

"These are my sons, Brayden, Caden, Aiden, and Maiden."

'Aren't they wonderful? And your wife's already named them John and Edward.'

'Therefore I do christen this child 'Isyouis Oris You Ain't.''

"Before we start, I expect you're all figuratively dying for a cup of tea?"

All I can say is, thank goodness for nametags. Penne. Bowtie. Ziti. Fettuccini. Rotini. Campanelle.

The Beckham's son's name is Spanish for cross. I'd be cross if someone called me that.

When More Government Is A Good Thing

Luna - short for Lunatic.

'Come on, I've been waiting twenty minutes.' - 'Shut up. I'm choosing a name for my baby.'

"We're for calling it 'Hampton,' but they want to call it 'the Hamptons.' "

"What's her working title?"