Baby Monitors Pillows

'This has been a test of my emergency broadcast systems.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

'A work in Progress.'

"My owners aren't baby talking to me anymore. I'm going to be replaced by a real baby!"

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

Bob hated baby talk.

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"You're right... the babies are getting bigger."

New Dad.

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'