Baby Monitors Pillows

'This has been a test of my emergency broadcast systems.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

Maternity Ward

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

'He was getting too heavy to carry around in my pouch.'

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Giving Birth

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"My owners aren't baby talking to me anymore. I'm going to be replaced by a real baby!"

"You're right... the babies are getting bigger."

'We actually meant to order a baby monitor, but he was so cute we just had to keep him.'

'Mum's water have broken and she's called the doctor. I may be wrong but I'd be calling the plumber!!'

New Dad.

Bob hated baby talk.

Super Baby

'A work in Progress.'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'