Baby Monitoring Pillows

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Pool attached to child's bed.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

Maternity Ward

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'How many fingers do you see?'