Baby Monitoring Pillows

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Madonna of the Pukes.

Pool attached to child's bed.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Same old same old. How about you?"

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Mother puts extra long dummy in babies mouth.

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

'Hey, big deal! We're all new kids on the block!'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

Maternity Ward

'How many fingers do you see?'

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'