Baby Guardians T-Shirts

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

Cats on Board.

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

'Hey you! Yeah, you! Who invited you?'

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"Beware of God"

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

'Eddy! Can you check that recall list on the toy website again to see if this swing is included?'

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

A day in the life of a dog.

'I think he remembers you, Doctor.'

'Not only is he cute and smart but he's had all his shots too.'

But mom... This is great for baby! Just think of Rex - 6 months ago, he was a tiny little puppy... and look at him now!

Take You Home

Mobile phone damage to children.

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

Shepherd watching sheep on closed circuit TV

"The best way, son, is to bury your bones in airtight containers: it will keep them clean and fresh..."

"He calls it an 'accident' but you and I both know that was no accident."

"If I knew I'd have to walk them for an eternity... I never would have owned so many goddamn dogs!"

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

"We're still working out joint custody."

'Unfortunately, Rex didn't realize he was about to pee on an electric fence...'

Man with a pet dog reasures a woman with a pet cat

Safety is about FAMILY!...

"…Ok, tough guy, see this scar? Prius hit me—didn’t even hear it coming." "I got that beat. Right here: three-year-old woke me from a nap with a fork."

"Freeze, or I'll mop the floor with you!"

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd saved to send me to a private school.'

'Oh, great! And we don't have any dry insurance!'

Pay Now . . . or Pay Later.

"Nap? I'll nap when I'm thirty."

Welcome to the Society of Veterinarians Who Have Spayed Tomcats!'