Baby Growth Trackers T-Shirts

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

Bureau to cut back on bureaucratic paperwork...

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

Woman and scales.

Myleene Klass

'I have yopur lab results. Some of your readings are too high and some are too low. No, they don't balance out.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 5.

"We went from blunder to thunder."

Scales: 'Every day she breaks my back! What's in it for me?'

"When I said I needed to look at your diet I meant a list!"

'I'm glad to see that you've finally come to your census.'

Man is dumber because of his smartwatch.

How 'Warehouses' have grown over the years

'Oh boy, you've grown alright! Better be careful though: From now on, they won't throw you back...'

"This crawling on land, just fashion, it won't last"

"I used to monitor the watch. Now the watch monitors me."

'Fat chance!'

'Today, as a change of pace, I thought we would being by discussing greed in general.'

"Oh boy, you've grown alright! Better be careful though: From now on, they won't throw you back..."

Height Chart.

"Believe me, son, you'll grow up fast enough. . . you don't need to check your height EVERY DAY!"

"See, honey? No hipsters under your bed."

Genealogy convention

Weight watchers 'Gone for low-calorie lunch'.

"Clinton's gonna give big tax cuts to the middle class."

'I NEED to KNOW what funky name the media will christen the new decade, to follow the noughties.'

"Now that Google owns Fitbit, they know when I am sleeping, they know when I'm awake..."

"He has an unhealthy obsession with health apps."