Ax Wielder Pillows

A woodchop competition with a difference.

Guitar Man.

"Check out this new store."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

'You said you wanted a F-A-C-E chord.'

"It's such a nice day. Why don't you go outside and plagiarize something?"

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

Guitar Hero.

Stranded Woodsman.

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

Tony Iommi

Forrest Gander

House Plant Party

The Two Pipers: Man playing Flute Pipe.

Cutting the tree too early?

Shepherd

The sword is mightier than the pen.

Paul Gilbert.

Lumberjack's Dog

'Meet the Author'/'Meet the Plagiarist' - An Author and a Plagiarist selling and signing the same book story and title.

"Of course trees can walk. We're just lazy."

"Just when you think you've got it all figured out, they hit you with algebra."

"On the basis you have nothing to give thanks for this past year, what say you spare us the chop?"

"I'm going to knock you on your Axe!!"

Writer Crisis

Bubba gets Carpal Funnel Syndrome.

"Ugh. My hip hurts, my lower back aches, and my wrist is killing me. Stupid yoga!"

"The last guy I went out with asked me to split the bill."

Poet

'You've take up the violin at 76? Must be hell for those living at 74 and 78...'

'They say that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste!'

"I don't care about the money. I just hate trees."

A lumberjack chops down a tree

Woodcutter yells 'timber' as tree falls on him.

'Sleep on your stomach.'