Axe Master Pillows

"Check out this new store."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

What My Day Feels Like

Zenemies.

Yoga.

"I am not asking for directions."

Guitar Man.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

'You said you wanted a F-A-C-E chord.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Hoarder."

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

Zenboni

'This is a spiritual journey, Buddy...not a road trip.'

Relax.

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

It doesn't get any better than this --- Tai Chi with chai tea!